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[catpuss]

Hi all this is my first post i have been hanging around here since Amy died, it has been theraputic but also very sad but grief has to be done.
I first heard rehab but felt it was just a pop song didn't really listen to the lyrics,I had split up with a boyfriend so wasn't listening to any music at the time(did have BTB but he took when he was senting packing and i had never listened to it). My overiding memory of Amy is that i felt helpless for her, and that we as a nation were watching her die.On the whole i didn't pay much attention to her(as most of it was negative and I wasn't in a good place)Then on the 21st july a thought just popped into my head about Amy and not seeing her much in the press and wondering what she was doing(which in itself was weird as she wasn't really on my radar)Then on the saturday the news of her death, sad yes, shocked no. A week later on the following Saturday I then lost my Amy, my nan, Amy Rose. Again a very sad time. I think that there was a reason why i never got to listen to B2B when it came out or later, is that it wouldn't have been a good album to listen to at that time in my life, but it is now.What a joy.That album is about Amy's pain at that time(some of us have been there)but not about her life.
Everyone has questioned about why Amy hit the bottle as she did at that time. This is my take, (reading between the lines and searching the net)Blake had just had a baby, somthing that Amy wanted more than anything and that made her feel hopeless.I read that she wanted to meet with Blake but he wouldn't see her out of respect for his girlfriend and now mother to his child. Amy couldn't cope with the intensity of these emtions so dulled them with alcohol.(just my take on it)Sorry the post is so long but needed to get that off my chest.
We love Amy's music as it gives us permission to feel, somthing that Amy could do with music, but couldn't cope with in real life.
Thinking of you Amy x