Posted 23 July 2012 - 10:16 AM
Like many of you here, this last year has very much been dominated with Amy in all kinds of ways (if you look up a chinese calendar, you'll actually see it's the year of the mermaid, not the year of the dragon) .
I've spent countless hours on this forum (I had never participated in a forum before) and met some lovely people of all different walks of life on here.
I've been obsessively seeking out videos, interviews, music by Amy, practically daily (and when I wasn't it was generally because I didn't have acess to a computer) and I have no idea why. I've never felt like that about anyone before.
This last year I've had many health problems, all linked to my liver which I abused through years of drinking/drugs : having fun (or so I thought). I've turned things around in my life, decided to lead a healthier life-style even if it means being the boring one with the glass of water standing in the corner (it's much harder to socialise without alcohol/drugs), to be more postive about things, and to feel like I'm achieving something with this life, give it some purpose. Amy Winehouse has accompanied me through much of this and has encouraged me to be a better person, more giving, a better musician, to set myself goals and reach higher every time. How she's accomplished this I have no idea, but she has been inspirational.
Today I am sad of course, immensely sad that she is no longer with us, that her life was quite tragic and dramatic and lived out in the public arena. I hope she finds solace wherever she is now and that she has finally found some peace.
I am sad but I am also incredibly happy to be alive today, I feel very grateful for many many things and can't stop smiling. I feel that Amy is giving me lots of strength today, she is helping me see how beautiful this day is.
On this note, I'm gonna go for a walk and bask in the sunrays.
Big warm hugs to everyone, and Amy, I hope you feel our love today xxx