I've got no idea if anyone's going to read this, but I wanted to post this in a space where people care about her to this day.
How is it in the afterlife, dear? I hope everything's alright-- I hope your tears dried, I hope you're smiling like you did back then in 2004; full of life, charismatic, funny. Not that others took that away from you later, you just seemed happier back then, but you were still holding on to your essence. You exposed your heart raw and people didn't know what to do with it. How foolish of them. Cruel, even. They saw you struggling, crawling on stage, crying; and yet they laughed at you. They mocked you. I know you didn't care about them. But it must have been tough. you just wanted to sing, make people forget their problems for a few minutes.
You were and still are strong, present in your fans' hearts. Shining. This world didn't deserve a soul like yours, but I'm thankful you were brave enough to expose it to the world, knowing that someone out there would listen. You saved so many people, but in the end, who was there to save you? Who saw beyond the spectacle, behind the curtain?
You were so, so good Amy. Not only because of your music. I think every artist deals with that; "the only thing I'm good for is for my art". How many times have I found myself in that situation. I still struggle with it... I daydream often about you.. I wish we could have met. That, somehow, the universe would cross our paths. How many jokes would we laugh at? Maybe go to a few bars, watch movies or simply listen to you talk about your interests. You probably were an amazing friend.
I wish I could hug you.
I'm typing this with a knot in my throat. Reading what I'm writing.. I never put this into words. Only thought about them and let them wander my mind. Sometimes I forget you're not here with us, because you're so present in my life. In my artworks. In my mind. In my ears. It's almost like I lost part of my heart when you died; but the funny thing is, I didn't even know about you. But now that I do, it feels like I found a part I didn't even know I lost long ago.
Rest well and peacefully, Amy Jade. Part of you lives in my soul.