68 replies to this topic

[Mama_Haze]

I don't know much, but I do know karma....and I trust completely that if anyone was to blame, they will get their comeuppance in time. I also know, having seen these kinds of things go on for years with other people that truths do come out. If things are amiss here - and going by her last appearance with Dionne, something was very wrong - it will come to light eventually. I never understood why everyone was so happy when she appeared with Dionne. It was obvious to me as soon as I looked at her that she was wasted.

For what it's worth, I agree - whoever made that decision to allow/make her go out in Belgrade made a serious error of judgement, at least. At worst, they exploited her for their own reasons which I will never be able to fathom - she was their responsibility, and bottom line is, they let her down.

I'm just pleased, in a bizarre way, that nobody can ever take advantage of her again.

[Birdieava]

Amy didn't need "rehab", and she knew it.What she needed was more love, real love.Just LOVE.is that ok?That's why she never healed imhoCoping, by drinking alcohol, was always her refuge from this world.Ultimately, it killed her bc there was no one around .....nobody..........Literally, and the opposite of literally, too. NOBODY!Now we are left with this awful footage of her last gig.Fuckin great.

[Miss Mermaid]

Amy didn't need "rehab", and she knew it.What she needed was more love, real love.Just LOVE.is that ok?That's why she never healed imhoCoping, by drinking alcohol, was always her refuge from this world.Ultimately, it killed her bc there was no one around .....nobody..........Literally, and the opposite of literally, too. NOBODY!Now we are left with this awful footage of her last gig.Fuckin great.

Love?? You think love will solve someones mental and addiction problems?
Some people on here got a romantic version of looking at things.
Stop being so naive.

[pearljo]

Took the words right out of my mouth.^^^^

[Jayne]

How can you say there was no-one around, unbelievable? She had her mum. dad, brother, Reg, Dionne many friends and 24 hour security. Yes, perhaps rehab wasn't for her but don't say she had no-one around and I agree love alone will not help an addict. What Amy needed in my opinion was to listen to the doctors.

[October Song]

In reply to Birdieava's post above:

I think that Amy needed alcohol, then heroin / Cocaine, then alcohol again as a refuge from mental illness which had affected her from - at least - very early adulthood. I think she pushed 'real love' away at every turn and chose - yes chose - to surround herself with other destructive people. Her biggest relationships were based on things other than what more neuro-typical people would consider healthy love. She was a damaged and mentally atypical person. That informed every choice she made (and the art she created) throughout the years we knew her and before. The intelligent and rational part of Amy understood this and could thus understand the futility of her situation. What was good for her body was bad for her soul. She knew how to differentiate between good people and bad. She valued good people but she did not want to spend her life with them. She chose, knowingly to share her life with enablers, not lovers. I said it before in another thread, she had far more control over her life than people think and she manipulated others (the hanger-on saps who she'd use then later banish when she decided to try and straighten out) perhaps more than others manipulated her. She was a victim of her own mental health. She chose and controlled her own path but she did so with a sick mind and with the sadness of knowing deep down that she was failing and damaging herself and others. She couldn't help it.

[Cecilia]

Yeah she craved love, and she too probably thought that that was all she needed. But people did love her, and it wasn't enough, and it could never be enough. She was also too stubborn to accept that getting help isn't a sign of weakness, she thought she could beat addiction and mental illness on her own and she couldn't. When did she ever stay in rehab long enough for it to actually work? She wouldn't accept any kind of therapy. She cried for help but when it was offered she ran away from it. I remember not long before Belgrade she went to rehab. She got drunk on the way there. It was her telling the world this tour was too much for her. I wish she'd stayed in rehab and cancelled the whole damn tour before Belgrade could ever happen. I don't know if going through with it was pressure from her management, but then believing she'd stick with rehab for more than a week was probably wishful thinking, so it may well have been her own decision.

I too can't watch the Belgrade videos, they're heartbreaking. Just thinking about it hurts. I'd like to think that if I'd been in charge I would have been able to stop her from performing, stuff whatever contracts were signed. Just tell people she was too ill and give them their money back. I don't know what happened behind the scenes or who pulled the shots though, so yeah, hindsight and all that...

I know she tried hard to turn her life around, she managed to get off crack and heroin and whatever else she took and that's not easy and requires a lot of strength, but for people to say she was "clean" for 3 years? That's an illusion. Alcohol is a drug, and a pretty damn nasty one. And it's the one that killed her. She did die of an accidental overdose, the fact that the drug was legal doesn't make it alright. Sorry if this sounds harsh, I love Amy with all my heart, I wish it had all been different and she was still with us. Today's not a good day.

[Mama_Haze]

If love alone could fix mental issues, I'd be Prime Minister right now. No disrespect, but love is not something I have ever been short on. It has done nothing whatsoever to affect my health. If you're in that hole, you're in it - nothing drags you out except time and patience.

[Amy Jenna Harper]

Thanks people,
I truly believe that the management put on her a lot of pressure..probably she couldn't deal with it.
I dunno if she was clean..but as you said people..if everything was different :s

[Birdieava]

Love?? You think love will solve someones mental and addiction problems? Some people on here got a romantic version of looking at things.Stop being so naive.

Yes, Julie, actually I do.I.think / know it solves everything.If more LOVE was around her the night of Belgrade,A real human being would have stopped the distaster.And if more people would have cared for herWith love, and not with anything else in mind Then she would have probably realised her self-worth.SOI won't stop being naive....And I wont take back what l said.You people can entertain yourselvesWith whatever isnt love.XO

[SteveV]

Yes, Julie, actually I do.I.think / know it solves everything.If more LOVE was around her the night of Belgrade,A real human being would have stopped the distaster.And if more people would have cared for herWith love, and not with anything else in mind Then she would have probably realised her self-worth.SOI won't stop being naive....And I wont take back what l said.You people can entertain yourselvesWith whatever isnt love.XO

There's no doubt in my mind that Amy was treated as a failing business interest, and her managers were determined to save the concert financially. If she stayed on the stage for a certain period of time, the contract was fulfilled no matter how bad the "concert" was. You pay your money and take your chances. Indeed, you ("you" being the customers) got to witness an historic event. A great artist, in the grip of her affliction, was self destructing right before your eyes. And she was afflicted. She had a severe form of bipolar disorder (BPD) which I don't think was ever really treated. It turned out to be fatal. You can't get more severe than that.

Unfortunately, people with BPD often aren't very good patients. The very nature of BPD is to be overconfident in your own abilities (manic) or to be too depressed to give a damn. Kurt Cobain (Nirvana) was on lithium for a while, but took himself off of it because (he said) it robbed him of his of creative abilities. He too had BPD. He too died at 27.

BPD is not a good thing, but some can live with it such as Axl Rose (Guns & Roses). He's back on the road over 20 years after his breakout album and recently played in my hometown. (Not all BPD is the same.) I so wish Amy could have played here too (Las Vegas). The treatment is not curative and doesn't work at all in some. It's actually easier to treat true psychosis than BPD. Patients with most types of schizophrenia actually do pretty well on medication and can live reasonably normal lives. BPD rarely results in psychotic episodes. Most of the time, patients are rational, if stubborn. Therefore, there are real legal issues in forcing would be patients to take the treatment (which is lifelong). As with most issues like this, loving support is of great benefit. Feeling isolated and alone is one the symptoms of BPD.

Here's a Mayo Clinic information site. Each page addresses some aspect of managing BPD. Click at the bottom to go through the pages.

http://www.mayoclini...isorder/DS00356

Edited by SteveV, 11 March 2012 - 12:13 AM.

[Miss Mermaid]

Yes, Julie, actually I do.I.think / know it solves everything.If more LOVE was around her the night of Belgrade,A real human being would have stopped the distaster.And if more people would have cared for herWith love, and not with anything else in mind Then she would have probably realised her self-worth.SOI won't stop being naive....And I wont take back what l said.You people can entertain yourselvesWith whatever isnt love.XO

You are talking absolute rubbish.
So her parents didnt love her enough?
So her brother didnt love her enough?
So her friends didnt love her enough?
So her fans didnt love her enough?

go and tell her Father then you think he didn't love her enough. See what he says to you.

You got to be a troll. There seem to be only a few people with common sense on this forum.

Sorry Mama Haze you do a great job but some of the people on here are fools with no common sense and they dont see amy as a human being with faults but some perfect creature. This type of idol worship isnt for me.
I am gonna lay low for a while.

[what'sinsideher]

Yes, Julie, actually I do.I.think / know it solves everything.If more LOVE was around her the night of Belgrade,A real human being would have stopped the distaster.And if more people would have cared for herWith love, and not with anything else in mind Then she would have probably realised her self-worth.SOI won't stop being naive....And I wont take back what l said.You people can entertain yourselvesWith whatever isnt love.XO

That is a nice thought, but no...love really does not solve everything. I agree with Mama_Haze. My parents are the most beautiful, loving people you can imagine but that has never kept me from falling into a dark place. It's so, so much more than just needing to be loved that it's actually insulting for you to say that's all it is and all you need if you're troubled.

[Birdieava]

You are talking absolute rubbish.
So her parents didnt love her enough?
So her brother didnt love her enough?
So her friends didnt love her enough?
So her fans didnt love her enough?

go and tell her Father then you think he didn't love her enough. See what he says to you.

You got to be a troll. There seem to be only a few people with common sense on this forum.

Sorry Mama Haze you do a great job but some of the people on here are fools with no common sense and they dont see amy as a human being with faults but some perfect creature. This type of idol worship isnt for me.
I am gonna lay low for a while.

Whoa.
You blow.me away.

Really!

That is NOT what l said at all.
But your welcome to interpret it however u like.

If this makes me a Troll, then I will wear the badge you give me with pride and joy.

If I get called..out by mama.for.expressing my opinions, then that's ok too. It.does not matter to me one bit. I respect forum and forumites and Julie u are the first to throw an adjective my way.

Way to go.

Anyways,my common sense is awesome.

I know it because I am never wrong about anyone anymore.

I was.diagnosed with BP MYSELF, so.don't be an ass if you have never been in the grips of something.like this. YOU have no idea what your talking about. For you, its all a romantic idea as.well.

Like Amy is.going to listen to a counselor and go.....oh ok!

Meds were the Only way and she refused.
And a proper lifestyle. Healthy.

So I thought more.love could have saved her.
Like ,,,,

Where was her boyfriend that night?????

We were talking "Belgrade", not Amys whole life, Jesus Christ.


I never mentioned Mitch or Janis.
God Bless them.
God bless you, too.

[Uno]

When Lioness came out a few months ago, I remember reading a review and there was one paragraph in the article that spoke volumes to me...

Remi told ABC News Radio that Winehouse’s father was truly surprised when he heard ”Lioness:” ”When I played it for him, he…sat back and he said,’You know what? I was so busy chasing [her with] ‘Amy, don’t do this…,’ “Amy, don’t do that….,’ I didn’t realize that she was that good at that young age.” Remi noted that Mitch Winehouse also said, “I didn’t realize how talented she was.”

http://abcnews.go.co...lented-she-was/

I don't doubt that both of Amy's parents did love her. I also believe that they went through all kinds of hell dealing with her antics and addictions, but no matter how screwed up your kids are, they need praise and encouragement for their accomplishments. Actually that's when they even need it more. Reading what Mitch said made me wonder, if he couldn't realize her accomplishment of such an astronomical proportion, could he even see the smaller ones that took place in her daily life, such as her baby steps to recovery? And if he could, did Amy ever get to hear those words of praise and encouragement that would have helped her get to the next steps in her life?

It seemed like the only time it seemed important enough for Amy to get into rehab, other than when she OD'd, was when she had to meet her public and be up on stage and even then she was only there long enough to look refreshed and not look like she had been doing whatever and for however long. It was more like a vacation for some R&R then rehab.

I don't have a clue what transpired between her and her family after Belgrade. But I do know that if that was my child, I would have been waiting at the airport when she returned and picked her 'little self' up and taken her kicking and screaming to some type of intervention to get some long-term help, no matter how old she was. If firmly confronted, this may have been the one time she actually might have given in and accepted the help. Sadly, Belgrade was 'the bottom of the barrel' for Amy and there is only one direction one can go from there.

Edited by Uno, 11 March 2012 - 07:40 AM.